Empty Beer Bottles

I’ve said it before but I think, given how much I bitch about politics, that it bears repeating. For what it’s worth, I am technically still a registered Republican (just too lazy to switch to Independent). Yes, I voted for W in ‘00 and in ‘04. I even held my nose to fend off the Palin stench and cast my vote for McCain in ‘08. Shut up…I had my reasons. See, I thought that the party cared more about reasonably-sized government and efficient use of tax dollars. I know, I know…I was delusional. Because what I’ve witnessed from the GOP in the past few years has been enough to make me do that face when you’re so astonished by what you’ve just seen or heard that your mouth sort of hangs half-way open, your eyes glaze over, and you truly look like somebody just asked you for a quick “off-the-top-of-your-head” answer to a differential equation.

What is it I hate about the party, you ask? It’s not everything, like many of you might think. Incidentally, notice how I have specifically called out “the party”. I don’t loathe Republicans. Most of my good friends are Republicans and are wonderful people who, even when we disagree, I admire and respect a great deal. It’s the true party leadership I can’t stand (Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, Glenn Beck, etc.) and their puppets in the actual government. If normal Republicans were running things, the party wouldn’t have this problem. There could be a discussion.

For example, I think that trickle-down economics is complete and utter bullshit. I think it sounds good and in theory, it seems feasible. But when I look at the actual data, I don’t see it playing out the way it’s being sold. That being said…I could be completely wrong. I’m certainly not an economist. I’m open to having it explained to me in a way that makes me see the situation differently. That’s a conversation we can have.

On something like immigration policy, however, I actually tend to fall more in line with conservatives. As heartless as it may sound, if you’re here illegally…sorry. I think I might even be open to the idea of ending birthright citizenship, although I haven’t completely thought that one through. This is something else, though, that I’m fully willing to be educated on and could change my mind.

So if I can agree with some points of view and disagree with, but respect, other points of view, why is it that I detest this party and its candidates so fully and completely?

Simple. Quit trying to impose your fucking “values” on me. I seriously could not give less of a shit what your particular god thinks should go on in my bedroom or anyone else’s bedroom. For that matter, I couldn’t give less of a shit what your particular god thinks about anything. If you do…that’s great! Have at it! But trying to impose your god on the nation’s public policy is indefensible.

If something is a good idea, like say, not killing people, I don’t need the sixth commandment to tell me that. And really, what does it say about you if the only reason you can give to not kill people is because an ancient, contradictory book says so? I’m not killing people because I happen to value life in its own right, not because I’m worried about some freakishly weird, sadistic punishment after I die.

Would it be okay if my religion instructed me to kick guys who wear sweater vests in the junk on a daily basis? What would you think of that, Rick Santorum? That’s what I thought. The fact is, you don’t want anybody else pushing their values on you, so you shouldn’t be able to do it either.

Rather than getting your asses so puckered up over who is getting married to who, why or why not people might be having sex, or anything else for which your only response is “uhhhh…cuz the Bible says so”, why don’t you try focusing on reasonably-sized government and efficient use of tax dollars? Until then, you can count this one vote that used to be yours as solidly not yours.

My friend sent this link my way. I really have nothing to add. Everybody (especially in the United States) would do well to actually listen to the lyrics.

This song just came on my mix and I decided that if I happen to die tomorrow in a fiery train crash, I want it on public record (blogs count, right?) that this is my favorite song. I don’t need to point out who it’s dedicated to in some sappy Casey Kasem way because if it’s you, you already know. I have not heard another song that encapsulates friendship for me the way this one does. I love you guys.

It’s that time of year again. Every time I look up and down my street, or turn on the radio, or go to any store for any reason, it looks and sounds as though Santa Claus barfed Christmas all o’er the land. And I love it. I know, many of you may be surprised to hear that the godless, atheistic, heathen loves Christmas, but it’s true. I also love the annual Fox “News”, War on Christmas. That’s the notion that Christmas is under attack and is on the verge of being exterminated from our country by atheists, secularists, and probably, given that it’s Fox “News”, Muslims. The poor, trodden-upon Christians in this country just can’t cut a break. It’s an outrage, dammit!!! So, naturally, when I look out my window, turn on the radio, or go anywhere this time of year, I always have to think to myself, “If this is Christmas under attack, how much more crammed full of Christmas would we be otherwise??” Gosh, it almost seems as though Fox is manufacturing controversy in order to rile up their right-wing, religious base and drive ratings. Nah! They wouldn’t do that!

Another phenomenon related to this time of year is something you may have noticed if you’re ever on Facebook. You’ve probably started seeing an increasing number of status updates that follow a simple formula rooted in an ever-so-witty typographic form of the word Christmas. The formula is as follows:

Christmasy picture + some phrase containing the word CHRISTmas = ZING! Take that Non-Christians!!!!

Now, while I could never hope to compete with that amount of clever, I would like to point out a couple things. First, the best estimates for when Jesus was most likely born are some time in the spring. Therefore, the original “Reason for the Season” was really more the early church commandeering ancient Pagan holidays such as the Winter Solstice and Saturnalia for its own purposes. Also, don’t forget that the whole Baby Jesus story only appears in two of the four Canonical Gospels (Luke and Matthew) and in those two, is actually pretty contradictory. But now I’m just being a Scrooge, right?

I’m sure some of you are thinking, “But Tim, if you claim to love christmas, what is the point of this?” Good question. Anybody who knows me very well will know the answer: I love being a nitpicky pain in the ass. Also, I think it’s valuable for people to put some thought and research into the traditions they hold sacred as opposed to just getting mad because somebody had the audacity to call something a “holiday party”.

Happy Holidays!

I really wish Harold Camping would quit getting my hopes up. Every time he updates his guaranteed date for the Rapture, I start daydreaming about how much sweeter this rock would be without a bunch of Bible-thumping, holier-than-thou, self-righteous, fundamentalist Christians junking up the works (yes, I do realize it would only be a start because there would still be a bunch of fundamentalists from other religions). But no. It appears that Oct. 21st (his current prediction) will come and go quietly. Again. {Sigh}

If you haven’t been living in a cave recently, you’re probably aware of the fact that Hank Williams, Jr. appeared on Fox “News’” show Fox and Friends where he drew a “comparison” between President Obama and Hitler. I put “comparison” in quotes here because, quite honestly, I don’t think what he said was all that bad.* I saw it, and to me, it wasn’t a comparison of Obama and Hitler. It was a comparison of polar opposites. He was pointing out the disparity between Obama and John Boehner and to illustrate that point, he compared it to the potential disparity between Hitler and Benjamin Netanyahu. In my mind, those are two different conversations. Granted, there are maybe a few thousand less offensive ways to draw a comparison, but it’s still not the worst thing I’ve ever heard.

Now, that being said, I still think Hank Williams, Jr. is a dumbass. And he helped validate my opinion by putting this statement on his website:

After reading hundreds of e-mails, I have made MY decision. By pulling my opening Oct 3rd, You (ESPN) stepped on the Toes of The First Amendment Freedom of Speech, so therefore Me, My Song, and All My Rowdy Friends are OUT OF HERE. It’s been a great run.” — Hank Williams Jr

Yup. He played the First Amendment, Freedom of Speech card. See? I told you he’s a dumbass. It seems Bocephus is a bit rusty on his U.S. civics. The thing he gets incorrect in saying that ESPN was stepping on his Freedom of Speech is exactly everything. Dumbass. The First Amendment says that the government cannot pass laws infringing on freedom of speech. In other words, it guarantees you the freedom to complain about your government without getting thrown in jail. It does not give you the right to say whatever you want, whenever you want, and never face any consequences. Your employer absolutely has the right to fire your dumb ass if you say things that they don’t care to have associated with them. So if you want to discuss whether or not ESPN was overstepping its bounds in terms of dictating what you say on your own time, fine. But that’s a matter of your contract with them and whether or not you were acting as a representative of them. But it most certainly isn’t about the First Amendment.

Dumbass.

* I put Fox “News” in quotes because it’s not so much news as it is a giant, steaming turd. Just in case you were confused about my opinion of Fox “News”.

A good friend of mine recently brought this article on climate change to my attention. It’s about how a Nobel Prize-winning physicist resigned from the American Physical Society because of the organization’s official position on global warming. The APS says the science is incontrovertible and that Earth is getting warmer. The physicist, Dr. Ivar Giaever, disagrees.

Well, I guess we better give this some thought, huh? Here’s an actual scientist who disagrees with the nearly unanimous opinion of climatologists worldwide that the globe is getting warmer and humans have at least contributed. A scientist! I bet he owns a white lab coat and everything! But wait. What does he study again? Oh yeah…physics. So his opinion is relevant…why? Incidentally, I do find it a bit silly that a physics society is taking a position on climate, but that’s not the point I want to focus on here.

Now I’m sure that Dr. Giaever is a brilliant man. He did win the Nobel Prize. But the thing is, he is brilliant in physics. That doesn’t mean I would trust him to remove my appendix. Or to do a whole assortment of other things, for that matter. Why should I care what he thinks about climate? Likewise, I wouldn’t give two shits about what a climatologist had to tell me about particle physics.

But this is the Fox “News” game. They have their position on global warming, which we learned is actually pretty official. Now, given that their position runs counter to that of 97% of climate scientists worldwide, they need all the help they can get. So, in the absence of actual experts, they play off the general public’s vague notion that a scientist is a scientist (and probably has a white lab coat). They publish a story like this in an effort to imply that climate science is somehow in question. But it is not. Except by people and organizations like Fox “News” who have a vested interest in the denial of the science.

I hadn’t posted about climate since I pointed out that 2010 was the warmest year on record. So I decided to go check on the latest news. As it turns out, 2011 was the second warmest summer on record in the U.S.

{Sigh} This is truly getting absurd. As many of you probably know, it was just last week that Texas Governor (and presidential hopeful) Rick Perry had this to say about climate change:

Well, I do agree that there is — the science is — is not settled on this. The idea that we would put Americans’ economy at — at — at jeopardy based on scientific theory that’s not settled yet, to me, is just — is nonsense. I mean, it — I mean — and I tell somebody, I said, just because you have a group of scientists that have stood up and said here is the fact, Galileo got outvoted for a spell.

But the fact is, to put America’s economic future in jeopardy, asking us to cut back in areas that would have monstrous economic impact on this country is not good economics and I will suggest to you is not necessarily good science. Find out what the science truly is before you start putting the American economy in jeopardy.

First of all, hang on. What was that Galileo comment there? Let me see if I can follow this line of reasoning. Galileo was correct. The Church was incorrect but persecuted Galileo because they disagreed with him. Therefore, no climate change. Uhhhh…what? I really didn’t think this guy could keep upping the ante on stupid but boy was I wrong.

Okay fine. He probably just misspoke. I won’t dwell on that weird bit. However, the second, and more important point, is that Mr. Perry is putting on a perfect display of willful ignorance.

Sir, the science is pretty much settled. Maybe the politics haven’t been. But do not conflate the two. You just make yourself sound even stupider than you clearly are. We can debate and argue as much as you want about how we should respond. But it is simply irresponsible at this point in time to continue an attempt to not even have the conversation.

Last night, I saw Buddy Roemer on The Daily Show. He is a former governor of Louisiana currently trying to win the Republican nomination for President. I didn’t know much about him but I noticed that he seems like a personable guy and he seems to be relatively rational. However, realizing that Jon Stewart can probably make whoever he wants look either good or bad, I looked into Roemer a bit on my own to learn a bit more about his political positions. After all, readers of this blog are no doubt aware that one of my favorite things to do is rip into the extraordinary levels of dumbshittery* we see in the GOP these days.

What I discovered is that I don’t agree with him on everything. In fact, I think there are probably quite a few issues on which we don’t come to the same conclusion. But what I still think seems to be true is that Roemer at least uses some process of actual reasoning to form his positions. It appears that he is willing to not go along 100% with the “acceptable” Republican party line. I guess that makes him a RINO. Right, Republicans?

The GOP should be jumping all over people like Roemer. What? Somebody who can come across as reasonable? Fantastic! But no. You probably won’t hear much about him because he’s essentially being left out of debates or anything else (except The Daily Show) that might get him some true recognition. Instead, what we get are Rick Perry and Michele Bachmann who have to be two of the stupidest people I’ve ever had the misfortune of having to see on TV. Are you kidding me?

Why does the GOP want to celebrate ignorance?? Disagree with Obama. Fine. He certainly isn’t perfect. But for fuck’s sake, at least prop up people who can be cogent!

* Yes, that’s a word. Look it up. Just make sure you use Urban Dictionary.

If a candidate for president were to come out and boldly proclaim that he or she believed the Earth to be flat, it’s fair to say that I wouldn’t give that person another ounce of consideration. I would view that person to be so profoundly out of touch with fundamental knowledge that I could not, in good conscience, trust his or her views on any other topic. Not only would I be concerned about the direction that person might try to take educational standards in our country, I would just feel uneasy about the candidate’s ability to seek out and understand basic facts. I consider a solid understanding of concrete facts to be a reasonably fair litmus test.

Now let’s change the facts in question from the shape of the planet to the origin of humanity. If a person denies the theory of evolution, it is as good as denying that the planet is round. The theory of evolution is as solid as science gets and is as much a fact as gravity. Scientists may debate the exact mechanics of specifically how evolution occurs. But any person who says that evolution is “just a theory” that many scientists disagree with is a person who is simply ignorant of the science. In other words, denial of evolutionary biology is as valid a litmus test as denial of a round Earth.

That being said, of the top contenders for the 2012 Republican nomination for President of the United States of America, four of them fail the litmus test and fail at basic understanding of scientific knowledge. Rick Perry, Michele Bachmann, Ron Paul, and Rick Santorum have all stated, to varying degrees, that they either flat out deny evolution or that they at least think Creationism or Intelligent Design (neither of which are supported by actual science) should be taught along-side evolution in public schools. To my knowledge, Herman Cain hasn’t taken a public stance one way or the other. Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich, and Jon Huntsman have all expressed support for evolution, regardless of whether or not a creator kicked the process off. Kudos to those three for going against the current Republican establishment and actually coming down on the side of science and understanding. Maybe there is hope for that party yet.